Work through the process. It will get easier. It’s gets better. Whenever someone says these words to me I wonder if they have ever deal with anything tough in their entire lives. None of those three statements has anything to do with grief.
The best way to think of grief is to think that you are continually shot through the chest by a shotgun. It doesn’t matter a week out, a year out every single moment of every single day there is a gaping wound that you must walk with. It is a wound that does not heal, because for it to heal would mean that something could replace the loss you have experienced.
Even more, when dealing with grief, understand that it does linger it does alter every aspect of who you are. Laughter comes rarely because how can you laugh when the world seems so cruel? How can you move forward when you know that death creeps behind and within every relation. You wake up suddenly in the night to check to see if your wife is still breathing, you then sit up for hours in the bed next to her making sure it continues because you don’t want to miss a single moment of that precious heart beat. Grief causes you to realize NOTHING is permanent. Everything changes, everything fades away. It causes you to despise people that enjoy wasting their lives. How can you waste what you don’t possess, your very breath, and the time that continually ticks by.
Grief is the biggest evidence of the pain and fracturing of the world. It is why Jesus is closest to the broken hearts. He spent 33 years walking this earth, God in flesh. He saw our pain, and He knows that He is the one that must rewrite our fatality. Dealing with grief makes me cling to the very words, “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” Even more, I rejoice in knowing God “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.” (Psalm 56:8) Lastly that “he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more.” (Revelation 21:4)
Grief continues, in this world I will be full of tears, more and more. But even as I weep my God will wipe those tears away. One day this will be over, but that day is not today. I may weep, but is a weeping with a hope. A pain with an end in sight. It does not get easier, but it will cease when we are reunited. Until then I wait, I walk with this wound but I move forward.